• Personal

    Me, at 40

    August 23, 2024

    I am 40 now.

    Honestly, it still feels weird to say. I thought things would look different by now. I thought I’d be more… settled. But here I am, still figuring things out.

    I left my job. I tried to make it work, stayed, hoped something better would come. It did not. I am jobless. And yeah, it is frustrating sometimes — to try and still feel like I am back at square one.

    Love? Still nothing.

    Still no one new.

    Still mending a heart that has been broken for a while now. Some days it is okay. Other days, not so much. But I have learned to sit with it — not fight it as much. Some pain just stays a little longer.

    But not everything feels heavy.

    This year, I had my first international trip.

    And I got to be with my sister again. Her family. My nephew.

    That part felt good. Like home. Like I could breathe.

    It reminded me that love shows up in different ways. And maybe that’s enough for now.

    At 40, I have not ticked all the boxes.

    No job. No partner.

    But I am here. I am trying.

    I have failed, yes — but I have also grown. Quietly. Slowly.

    I have learned to let go of things, people, places that were not for me.

    To be honest, I am still learning how to be okay with where I am.

    But I am proud I made it this far.

    So if I ever read this again someday —

    I hope I smile a little.

    And I hope I have found more peace than I have now.

    — Me, 40

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  • Travels,  USA

    Unexpected Adventures

    July 6, 2024

    We had our hearts set on Carowinds this Sunday, but our plans took an unexpected turn. The ticket prices suddenly spiked, likely due to it being the weekend. Instead of our amusement park adventure, a new plan was hatched. My sister decided to get a manicure and pedicure, while my nephew was set for a haircut after lunch. Rajha, having just finished work, planned to take a nap.

    However, a few hours later, Rajha announced he could not sleep, so off we went. My sister quickly booked online tickets for the Museum of Life and Science. We changed our course and headed straight to the museum, skipping the mani-pedi session.

    We arrived at the museum a little past noon, and it was much larger than I had anticipated. The sheer size of the place was overwhelming. After a bit of exploring, we took a break with popsicles and sandwiches, which were a nice treat after all the walking. At 2:40 PM, we hopped on the train for a tour around the museum.

    The train ride gave us a nice overview, but we were far from done exploring. We wandered through the dino trails, saw bears, lemurs, wolf pups, and tortoises. The grounds were so expansive that by the end of the day, I had racked up 7,467 steps, close to 10,000! There were also farm animals and fascinating insects to see.

    I had a blast taking photos and videos, capturing every moment. My phone storage is now full, thanks to the many pictures I snapped. This unexpected museum trip turned out to be a fantastic day filled with fun and discovery.

    Museum of Life and Sciences
    Address: 433 W Murray Ave, Durham, NC 27704

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  • Travels,  USA

    Triple Celebration

    June 22, 2024

    Last week, Thea invited my sister and her family to a special occasion—the birthday celebration of her two children and the housewarming of their new home in Graham. Mom and I tagged along. We were the first to arrive at the party. While waiting for the other guests, Thalia and Uriah immediately started playing tag. It was so much fun to watch them! They seemed to be enjoying themselves so much, running around with pure joy. We were also pleasantly surprised to see that they had rented inflatables, ensuring that the kids (and the kids at heart) wouldn’t get bored!

    As more guests arrived, the party officially started. The food was laid out on the table, and we served ourselves. Thea and her family had cooked all the delicious dishes. There were so many tasty options, clearly prepared with a lot of love and effort. After eating, we all sang happy birthday to the celebrants. The kids were so happy, surrounded by friends and family, everyone cheerfully singing along.

    Their place in Graham is beautiful—quiet, far from the crowds, and with such a refreshing ambiance. It felt like a place you’d want to stay forever! As the celebration continued, we noticed other guests slowly leaving, but we stayed until the very end. That day was truly worth it. The house was filled with laughter, stories, and joyful memories. It wasn’t just a party; it was a celebration of life, friendship, and new beginnings. Thank you, Thea, for inviting us. Until next time!

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  • Random

    A Bittersweet Farewell

    June 21, 2024

    Today, I felt a little pang of sadness.

    It happened when I noticed I had been removed from the Viber group, “Team Loxon.” Just a small notification, really — just a group that’s no longer on my screen. But it struck a chord deeper than I expected. That quiet removal felt like a closing door, like the final period at the end of a long chapter.

    It’s strange how something so simple can stir up emotions you thought were settled. I guess I was hoping, maybe just quietly, that there would be a goodbye. A short message. A few words to acknowledge that I had been part of something, that I had contributed, even in small ways. Just a “thank you,” or a “you’ll be missed.” But there was only silence.

    And I get it — people are busy. Everyone moves forward with their own concerns, their own to-do lists, their own paths. It wasn’t personal, and maybe there was no malice behind it at all. Still, that absence of closure stung. Because even when we choose to leave something behind, we often hope that what we gave mattered to someone.

    But as the initial sadness settled, I reminded myself: this was a step I chose. A decision I made for my well-being, for my growth, for the next phase of my life. And sometimes, even necessary change comes with quiet losses. Not everything ends with a bow. Not every goodbye is spoken aloud.

    I’m choosing to focus on the good — the time I spent with Team Loxon was valuable. I learned new things. I faced challenges. I grew. I laughed. I shared space with people who, in that season of life, walked alongside me. For that, I am grateful.

    And maybe not all goodbyes need words. Maybe some endings are just meant to teach us to let go with grace, even if the departure feels unnoticed.

    So here I am, closing this chapter in my own way — with a heart full of appreciation, a tinge of sadness, and an open mind for what’s to come. The silence doesn’t erase the memories, and being removed from a group doesn’t erase the part I played in it.

    Here’s to new beginnings — quiet, soft, and full of possibility.

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  • Random,  Shopping

    Yearning for Amazon Finds

    June 18, 2024

    Today, I found myself browsing Amazon, and my fingers were itching to click that checkout button. If only I had the money, I would’ve already checked out everything in my cart. There are a few things I’ve been eyeing—like iPhone cases. Specifically, I want a transparent one, and a classy black one.

    Aside from phone cases, I’m also itching to get myself a Stalogy notebook. There’s something about starting fresh with a crisp, new notebook/journal that gets me excited about journaling my days. And of course, I can’t forget about pens! A good set of pens makes planning and note-taking so much more enjoyable.

    However, the reality is that I am currently without work. I’m hopeful that things will turn around soon. But for now, my shopping spree remains a daydream. I’ll have to hold off until my wallet agrees with my wishlist. Until then, I’ll keep adding items to my cart and imagining the day when I can finally hit that “Place Your Order” button without a second thought.

    Maybe soon I’ll find a way to treat myself to a few of these goodies. For now, I’ll just enjoy the anticipation and keep my fingers crossed for some extra cash to come my way. I’ll stay patient and keep my spirits high. I know that better days are ahead. Until then, I’ll enjoy the thrill of window shopping and planning for brighter times ahead.

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  • Random

    My Exit Interview Experience

    June 17, 2024

    Today marked a significant milestone in my professional journey — my exit interview, scheduled at 9 AM.

    There’s something symbolic about an exit interview. It’s not just the last formal task before leaving a company; it’s a moment where you pause, look back, and truly take in what this chapter of your life meant. Walking into it, I had assumed Sir Chino, my direct supervisor, would be the one to conduct it. I had mentally prepared for the weight that might come with a more personal discussion. But instead, it was Ms. Pat from HR who facilitated the session.

    Oddly enough, I felt relieved. Not because I had anything difficult to say, but because her presence made the whole process feel neutral, balanced, and more manageable. Ms. Pat carried herself with a calm professionalism, but also a quiet warmth — the kind that makes you feel like it’s okay to be honest, to be vulnerable, to speak with both clarity and kindness.

    The interview itself involved a lot of rating-based questions — scales from 1 to 5 on everything from work environment and leadership, to personal development, communication, and management. It felt procedural on the surface, but each question tugged at specific memories: the late nights, the last-minute tasks, the unexpected wins, and the steady rhythm of teamwork that got me through it all.

    I found myself giving mostly 5s. Not because I wanted to appear polite or avoid critique, but because I truly felt content and grateful for what I had experienced. And when the question about colleagues came up, without hesitation, I said “6.” The scale only went up to 5, I know — but it just slipped out. A little, unintentional rebellion against the formality of the form, but a sincere expression of how much they meant to me. The people I worked with weren’t just co-workers — they were my support system, my sounding board, my daily rhythm. It was in the small things: shared inside jokes during lunch breaks, stepping in for each other without question, and celebrating wins — both personal and professional — like a true team.

    As the interview drew to a close, I felt a strange mix of emotions — relief, nostalgia, a quiet pride, and a touch of sadness. I reflected on how far I’d come: the challenges I faced and learned from, the roles I grew into, the doubts I worked through, and the confidence I slowly built. It was humbling to realize how much this role, this team, this experience had shaped me — not just as a professional, but as a person.

    What struck me most was how human the exit interview felt. It wasn’t just about gathering data or checking boxes. It was a space for closure — a rare moment in the fast-paced world of work to pause, speak, and be heard. Ms. Pat listened with sincerity, and I left that virtual room not just feeling like I had closed a door, but that I had been acknowledged — that my presence, my work, my growth had mattered.

    And so, as I walk away from this chapter, I do so with immense gratitude — for the role that challenged me, the mentors who guided me, the colleagues who stood by me, and the quiet moments that made it all meaningful. Today wasn’t just an end — it was also a beginning. The horizon is wide open now, full of unknowns, and that’s okay. Because endings like these are not about loss — they’re about making room.

    Here’s to growth, to lessons learned, and to all the possibilities still waiting.

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  • Travels,  USA

    A Day Out

    June 10, 2024

    Yesterday turned into a surprisingly delightful day, starting with a simple errand and ending with memorable adventures. My brother-in-law needed to get his guitar serviced, so we headed to Guitar Center. While he went inside to take care of his guitar, we waited in the car, planning the rest of our day. Our stomachs led us to our next destination: the Oriental Store in Raleigh.

    Walking into the Oriental store felt like stepping back into the Philippines. The aisles were packed with familiar Filipino goods, bringing a wave of nostalgia. From snacks to condiments, it was like a mini homecoming. Although the prices were significantly higher than what we were used to back home, the craving for those familiar flavors made it worth it. We decided to have lunch there and ordered some of our favorite dishes: longganisa, Bicol Express, laing, and BBQ. The food was fantastic! The portions were generous, and every bite was a comforting taste of home. The longganisa was perfectly spiced, the Bicol Express had just the right amount of heat, the laing was creamy and delicious, and the BBQ was tender and flavorful. It was honestly one of the best meals we’ve had in a long time.

    Despite not feeling our best, we didn’t want to waste the day, so we decided to make the most of it and headed to Pullen Park. Even though it was extremely hot, we pushed through with the idea of having fun at the park. The place was bustling with people, all soaking under the sun and playing with their families.

    My nephew was over the moon with excitement. He got to ride the paddle boat, the train, and the carousel. We also joined him on the train ride, which was a lot of fun and gave us a great view of the park. The sun was blazing, but it didn’t deter anyone from enjoying the day. Everywhere we looked, families were having picnics, kids were running around, and the atmosphere was filled with laughter and joy.


    His laughter and joy were infectious, lifting our spirits and making us forget we weren’t feeling well. Watching him have so much fun was the highlight of our day. We ended up enjoying every moment, from the rides to just being outdoors together. The day was a perfect blend of cherished memories and simple joys, proving that sometimes, a bit of home and family fun can turn an ordinary day into something extraordinary.

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  • Travels,  USA

    A Tuesday

    May 22, 2024
    Yesterday was one of those wonderful, unplanned days that end up being unforgettable. We decided to take a spontaneous trip to Downtown Cary Park, just a 20-minute drive from home. Honestly, I didn’t know exactly where we were heading, only that it was somewhere in Cary. As we drove into downtown, I couldn’t help but notice how much it reminded me of Wilmington with its charming streets and friendly atmosphere. We found a spot in the public parking area and headed straight to the park. It was absolutely beautiful – the kind of place that immediately puts you at ease. After a bit of exploring, we started to feel hungry. We stumbled upon a little stand and treated ourselves to some rose ice cream and coffee. The flavors were as delightful as they sound, and they gave us the perfect boost to continue our adventure.
    As we walked around the park, we discovered a lovely botanical garden. It was the perfect spot to rest for a while. My brother-in-law took a nap on a bench while my nephew and I roamed around, marveling at the beautiful plants and flowers.
    Around 5 PM, I asked my nephew if he wanted to check out the playground. He enthusiastically agreed, so we left his parents and my mom in the botanical garden and made our way to the playground. We had an absolute blast climbing, hurdling, and even taking turns on the slide. It felt great to let loose and have fun together.
    After a while, we heard my nephew’s dad calling his name – it was time to go. We reluctantly left the playground and regrouped with the family. Our day wasn’t over yet, though. We headed to a nearby Korean restaurant for dinner. The samgyupsal and hotpot were delicious and the perfect way to end our spontaneous outing.
    All in all, it was a fantastic day filled with laughter, relaxation, and quality family time. Sometimes, the best days are the ones you don’t plan at all.
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  • Travels,  USA

    Day 4 of 4 States in 4-Days: Virginia

    April 30, 2024

    Day 4 of our adventure began with a little extra snooze time—I must’ve needed it! I woke up feeling refreshed from a great night’s sleep. Breakfast was our usual eggs, but this time with a bonus—bacon! I was craving sausage, but no luck there.

    It was bittersweet knowing that today marked the end of our journey, a mix of contentment from the experiences we’d had and a touch of sadness that it was all coming to a close.

    Newport News, VA

    We started our day by exploring Victory Landing Park, we found ourselves momentarily lost before finding our path. Eventually, we found a spot to park, soaked in the sun and cool breeze and enjoyed the tranquil beauty around us. We stayed for about an hour, simply soaking in the beauty of the place. The distant calls of seabirds, and the peaceful atmosphere made it easy to lose track of time.

    Virginia Beach, VA

    Next up was Virginia Beach. The sun blazed down. We strolled along the boardwalk, taking in the sights. I wish we’d booked a room at one of the beachside inn we passed, so we could’ve taken a dip before heading out.

    We ended up at Ocean Eddies Seafood Restaurant for snacks, enjoying delicious calamares and a refreshing sundae. The calamares were perfectly cooked, crispy on the outside and tender inside, while the sundae was a delightful treat, a perfect way to cool down on such a hot day.

    As the day unfolded, I made time to pick up some souvenirs. Though I found a few lovely items, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should have ventured a bit further off to find something truly unique and special.

    Our adventure concluded with a grand buffet feast at Yukai Japanese & Seafood Buffet, where I indulged in sushi, salmon, oysters, shrimp, and more. As we savored each bite, I couldn’t help but reflect on the memories made and the bonds forged throughout our journey—a perfect ending to an unforgettable adventure, a day filled with joy, laughter, and a deep appreciation for the beauty and richness of our experiences.

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  • Travels,  USA

    Day 3 of 4 States in 4-Days: Pennsylvania and D.C.

    April 29, 2024

    Day 3 of the adventure started with a bit of a rough start—I ended up pulling an all-nighter thanks to the K-Drama “Queen of Tears.” Sleep finally caught up with me around 4am, only to be interrupted by my sister and my 4-year old nephew. Breakfast was a blur of sausage, eggs, and apple juice, the classic combo. I even attempted pancakes, but let’s just say they weren’t my finest culinary moment.

    But hey, today had something exciting in store.

    Hershey, PA

    Now, my relationship with chocolate is a bit like a rollercoaster—sometimes I am all in, other times it is a hard pass. But today was like a dream come true. You can imagine how happy I was. Every moment was delightful and filled with sweetness and joy. Stepping into Hershey’s Chocolate World, I expected a simple shopping spree, but my sister had other plans. We ended up on the adventure journey, though I suspect we weren’t on the same page about which tour to take. My nephew had a blast on the Candy Expedition.


    Despite the confusion, I managed to snag some adorable keychains, fridge magnets, and shot glasses, all carefully chosen with my workmates in mind. I can already picture their smiles when they see these souvenirs!

    Washington, DC

    As we drove into the capital, I couldn’t help but notice how scorching hot it was, despite the leafy canopy of trees lining the streets. I did feel hunger creeping up on me as we strolled along. All I wanted was to stay in the cool confines of the car, but duty called. Off we went, ready to explore the nation’s capital, even if it meant enduring a bit of heatstroke along the way. Waiting for the Circulator was bit of a drag. We waited nearly 45minutes for a dollar ride. Nothing beats exploring the city with good company. I was torn between wanting to soak in the sights and yearning for the sweet relief of air conditioning.



    Alexandria, VA

    Today’s adventure led us straight to Jollibee in Virginia. With 2-piece chicken and palabok on the table, we were ready for a taste of home. Despite missing out on my beloved sundae, the hearty portions of chicken made up for it, American-style! Every bite was a nostalgic journey, reminding us of the comforts of Filipino cuisine. Jollibee in Virginia isn’t just a restaurant—it’s a heartwarming reminder that home is wherever good food and good company come together.

    Sitting there with my uncle and mom, sharing stories and laughter over a delicious meal, I felt a deep sense of contentment. The familiar flavors and the warmth of the restaurant’s ambiance wrapped around us like a comforting hug. It was a beautiful reminder that, no matter how far we roam, the tastes and traditions of home are always there to bring us back to our roots.

    After a hearty meal at Jollibee, we made our way to Holiday Inn. Though the elevator felt a bit dated, the cozy atmosphere more than made up for it. I welcomed the comfort of our room and drifted off to sleep early, knowing that a good night’s rest awaited. Sometimes, the simple joys of a cozy inn are all you need to recharge for the adventures ahead.

    As I nestled into the soft, welcoming bed, I reflected on the day’s adventures, from the sweet delights of Hershey’s Chocolate World to the historical splendor of Washington, DC, and the comforting familiarity of Jollibee. It had been a day filled with little moments of joy and discovery, and now, with the promise of a peaceful night’s sleep, I felt ready to embrace whatever adventures tomorrow might bring.

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