It’s been a week. Seven days since I last heard from him. I still don’t know what really happened.
Everything was going so well. We were talking every day, sharing little moments, laughing at random things, and then… all of a sudden, he just disappeared. No explanation. No “I’ll be busy.” No “I’ll message you later.” Just silence. I honestly don’t know what changed.
Sometimes I find myself replaying our conversations in my head, wondering if I missed something. Did I say something wrong? Did something happen to him? Or was this always going to end this way?
I don’t know. The funny thing is, whenever I think about him, I end up laughing at myself. How did I get this attached?
I also realized something. I’m not angry. Disappointed? Yes. A little hurt? Definitely. There’s a bit of tampo. But anger? None. And I don’t know why.
Maybe because a part of me still believes there’s a reason behind his silence. Maybe because I care more about knowing if he’s okay than demanding an explanation.
Sometimes I wonder if I was too late in letting him know how I truly felt. Maybe I should’ve said more. Maybe I should’ve been braver. Or maybe… it wouldn’t have changed anything.
Unlike the old me, I did not flood his phone with messages. I did not call him every hour. If this had happened years ago, I probably would’ve sent text after text until he got tired of reading them. This time, I held back.
In three days, I only sent around six or seven messages. Yesterday, I sent just one. “Buhay ka pa ba?” That was it. I smiled after sending it because it sounded so… me. Simple. A little playful. But underneath those three words was a question I genuinely wanted answered. Are you okay? As each day passes, I can feel the silence getting heavier.
It’s strange how you don’t always realize how much you miss someone until they stop being part of your everyday routine.
I miss the messages. I miss seeing his name pop up. I miss the random conversations. I even miss wondering what we’d talk about next. The silence has become louder than any conversation we ever had. I still hope he will message someday. Not because I need an excuse or closure, but because I genuinely want to know what happened. Until then, I guess all I can do is wait a little longer.
Maybe tomorrow there will be a notification. Maybe there won’t. Either way, life keeps moving.
But if I am being honest… I still look at my phone more often than I used to.