Dear Jhi,

I sent you a simple message today.

“Take care always. I hope you find the strength to get through whatever you are facing.”

“If ever you need someone to talk to, I am here. I am always willing to listen. You don’t have to go through everything alone.”

I just wanted you to know that even from a distance, there is someone who still cares and hopes that you are okay.

And then you liked it.

That was all.

Such a small thing, but somehow it left me with so many thoughts.

It’s not that I didn’t appreciate your reaction. Maybe that was your way of telling me that you saw my message, that you read my words, and that you appreciated the care behind them. But if I’m being honest, a part of me was still hoping there would be more.

Maybe a little sign that you still wanted to talk.

The hardest part is that I’m not angry. I just miss you. I miss our conversations. I miss the little things we used to share. I miss the feeling of having someone to talk to at the end of the day — someone I looked forward to hearing from.

Now, it feels like there is so much distance between us.

I still remember when you said you would make it up to me. Maybe that is why a part of me is still waiting. Still hoping that you will come back, explain what happened, and bring back the person who used to make time for me.

Maybe you are going through something you cannot talk about yet. Maybe you are carrying things that I don’t know about. Maybe you just need time.

So for now, this is all I can do — remind you that someone still cares.

But I hope you also understand that silence has a weight of its own. Not hearing from you hurts. Waiting without knowing where I stand hurts.

I don’t know when we will have a proper conversation again. I don’t know if things will go back to the way they were. But I want you to know that before I became tired, I chose to understand you first.

Take care always, Jhi. 

I hope you find the strength you need for everything you are facing. I hope that even on the days when life feels heavy, you remember that there is someone out here quietly wishing for your happiness and hoping that you are okay.

And I hope that someday, when you are ready, you will let me in again and tell me what has been happening.

— Nikka

Dear Jhi,

It’s almost the end of Monday.

I’ve been looking at the clock all day, wondering if this would be the day you’d keep your promise.

You said, “Babawi ako sa’yo by Monday.”

I didn’t expect anything grand. I wasn’t waiting for a long phone call. I was simply hoping for a message. Maybe a “Good morning.” Maybe a “I’m okay.” Maybe even a quick “I am back home.”

Anything that would let me know you still remembered me.

But Monday is almost over, and my phone has stayed silent.

I keep wondering where you are. Did you make it back to Manila safely? Are you still traveling? Have you been able to sleep? I honestly don’t know anymore because I no longer know what’s happening in your life.

I know you’re grieving. I know you’re going through something heavy, and I’ve been trying my best to understand. If I were in your shoes, especially if it involved someone I loved, I’d probably be lost too.

That’s why I’ve waited because I believed your words.

I won’t pretend this doesn’t hurt. It does. It really does.

Because silence leaves too much room for questions. Questions that only you can answer.

I want you to know that if you ever need someone to listen, I am here. Still here.

And if one day you finally keep your promise, I will listen. But until then, I’ll stop counting the hours.

Take care of yourself, Jhi.

— Nikka

Dear Jhi,

Uyyy, online.

Those were the first words that came to my mind when I saw your name appear. After days of wondering, waiting, and asking myself what happened, there you were.

I don’t know why my heart reacted that way. A simple online status suddenly felt like a sign that maybe I would finally hear from you.

I sent you a message in the game, not knowing what to expect.

And then you replied.

“sorry po.. alam kong galit ka sa akin hindi ako nagparamdam.. sorry im broken kasi my tita has passed away po.”

For a moment, I didn’t know what to feel.

I wasn’t angry, Jhi. I was hurt. I was worried.

I was wondering if you were okay, if something happened, and if I had done something wrong. I didn’t want to be mad at you because deep inside, I knew there might be something you were going through.

Then you told me. You said you were broken because your tita passed away.

And suddenly, the things I was feeling became smaller because I realized you were carrying something heavy too.

I told you I wasn’t angry. Nagtatampo lang ako. I told you I was sad about what happened to your tita and that I was sending my condolences to you and your family.

Because that was the truth. I missed you. I was hurt by the silence. But more than anything, I wanted to know that you were okay.

Then you told me you were in Mindanao and that by Monday, you would be back in Manila.

You said you didn’t know what to say, but you would make it up to me by Monday.

“but babawi ako sayo by monday po.”

I don’t think you realized how much those words meant to me.

After days of silence, those words gave me something I had been missing—a little bit of hope.

I didn’t need a perfect explanation. I just needed to know you were still there.

I replied, “Okay po. Take care.”

Maybe I had so many more things I wanted to say. Maybe there were so many questions in my mind. But at that moment, I just wanted you to be okay.

And even in the middle of my own sadness, I wanted to understand what you were going through.

I hope your heart finds peace, Jhi.

I hope you know that someone was quietly hoping you were okay.

— Nikka

Dear Jhi,

I’ve been thinking about our conversation yesterday.

Thank you for trusting me with something so personal.

I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to lose someone you loved. As you shared your story, I wasn’t thinking about your past—I was thinking about the strength it must have taken for you to keep going after experiencing that kind of loss.

I’m glad you told me.

Not because it was a sad story, but because you trusted me enough to let me see a part of your heart that not everyone gets to see.

Please don’t ever feel like you have to hide that part of yourself from me.

If there are days when you miss her, it’s okay.

If there are days when the memories come back, it’s okay.

If there are things you’ve never had the chance to say, it’s okay.

You don’t have to pretend to be strong all the time.

I may not know exactly how you feel, but I want you to know that I’ll always listen without judging. You never have to carry everything by yourself.

Yesterday reminded me that everyone has a story. Everyone has scars that aren’t always visible. And now that I know a little more about yours, I don’t see you any differently.

If anything, I admire you even more.

Thank you for trusting me.

I hope one day, whenever life feels heavy, you’ll remember that you don’t always have to face it alone.

Take care, Jhi.

— Nikka