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Life Lately
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Random
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Travels
  • Random

    Learning about Grief

    July 27, 2026

    I used to think I understood what grief looked like.

    I thought grieving meant crying, talking about the person you lost, and finding comfort in the people around you.

    But lately, I’ve been realizing that maybe grief isn’t the same for everyone.

    Some people cry. Some people become quiet. Some want to be surrounded by family and friends.

    Others choose to be alone.

    Some continue living as if nothing happened, while others struggle just to get through the day.

    There isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve. There’s only the way each person knows how to survive.

    I think that’s the part I’m still trying to understand.

    Because if someone I care about is hurting, my first instinct is always the same.

    I want to be there. I want to listen. I want to remind them that they don’t have to go through it alone.

    But maybe that’s not what everyone needs.

    Maybe some people heal in silence. Maybe they need time before they can find the words. Maybe being alone is the only way they know how to make sense of their pain.

    I don’t know. I’m still learning.

    I guess that’s why this has been so difficult for me.

    When someone becomes quiet, my heart immediately wonders if I did something wrong.

    Did I say too much? Did I not do enough?

    Or are they simply carrying something too heavy for me to understand?

    The truth is… I may never know. And maybe that’s okay.

    Maybe loving someone who’s grieving also means accepting that I can’t fix their pain.

    I can’t heal it. I can’t carry it for them.

    All I can do is remind them that when they’re ready, someone still cares.

    Someone is still hoping they’re okay. Someone is quietly cheering for them from afar.

    Maybe that’s what love looks like sometimes.

    Not always talking. Not always knowing what to say. Just staying kind, even in the silence.

    I’m still learning about grief.

    And maybe… I’m learning a little more about love too.

    Read More
  • Life Lately

    One Week of Silence

    July 21, 2026

    It’s been a week. Seven days since I last heard from him. I still don’t know what really happened.

    Everything was going so well. We were talking every day, sharing little moments, laughing at random things, and then… all of a sudden, he just disappeared. No explanation. No “I’ll be busy.” No “I’ll message you later.” Just silence. I honestly don’t know what changed.

    Sometimes I find myself replaying our conversations in my head, wondering if I missed something. Did I say something wrong? Did something happen to him? Or was this always going to end this way?

    I don’t know. The funny thing is, whenever I think about him, I end up laughing at myself. How did I get this attached?

    I also realized something. I’m not angry. Disappointed? Yes. A little hurt? Definitely. There’s a bit of tampo. But anger? None. And I don’t know why.

    Maybe because a part of me still believes there’s a reason behind his silence. Maybe because I care more about knowing if he’s okay than demanding an explanation.

    Sometimes I wonder if I was too late in letting him know how I truly felt. Maybe I should’ve said more. Maybe I should’ve been braver. Or maybe… it wouldn’t have changed anything.

    Unlike the old me, I did not flood his phone with messages. I did not call him every hour. If this had happened years ago, I probably would’ve sent text after text until he got tired of reading them. This time, I held back.

    In three days, I only sent around six or seven messages. Yesterday, I sent just one. “Buhay ka pa ba?“ That was it. I smiled after sending it because it sounded so… me. Simple. A little playful. But underneath those three words was a question I genuinely wanted answered. Are you okay? As each day passes, I can feel the silence getting heavier.

    It’s strange how you don’t always realize how much you miss someone until they stop being part of your everyday routine.

    I miss the messages. I miss seeing his name pop up. I miss the random conversations. I even miss wondering what we’d talk about next. The silence has become louder than any conversation we ever had. I still hope he will message someday. Not because I need an excuse or closure, but because I genuinely want to know what happened. Until then, I guess all I can do is wait a little longer.

    Maybe tomorrow there will be a notification. Maybe there won’t. Either way, life keeps moving.

    But if I am being honest… I still look at my phone more often than I used to.

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  • Life Lately

    Back to Writing

    July 20, 2026

    I honestly don’t remember where I left off with my USA travel blogs.

    It’s been a while since I last wrote one, and somewhere along the way, life happened. I got busy with other things, my thoughts went in different directions, and writing quietly took a back seat.

    But I don’t want to leave those memories unfinished.

    They’re still some of my favorite memories to look back on, and I think they’re worth sharing too. So I’m picking up right where I left off—even if I have to reread a few old entries to remember where that actually was.

    More than anything, I think it’s time to start writing again.

    Lately, my mind has been so full of random thoughts that I feel like I need somewhere to let them out. Writing has always been that place for me. No pressure, no expectations. Just words flowing naturally, one paragraph at a time.

    Maybe this is the perfect time to get back into it.

    And maybe… it’s also a good time for anyone who still reads this little corner of the internet.

    If there are any readers left.

    Honestly, I always hope someone is reading these posts. Maybe someone stumbled upon my blog while searching for something completely different. Maybe someone enjoys reading random stories from a stranger. Or maybe it’s just future me, looking back years from now.

    Who knows?

    For now, I’ll focus on the travel blogs again. Well… not exactly the traveling itself. I actually spend most of my time now at home.

    Of course, I’m still manifesting more travels—especially my coming birthday. Fingers crossed. It would be nice to create new memories to write about.

    And every now and then, I’ll probably share a few personal stories too.

    Nothing too serious.

    Just little pieces of my life.

    A bit of oversharing, even though nobody asked.

    Then again… that’s kind of what a personal blog is for, isn’t it?

    Read More
  • Poetry

    Unread Days

    July 19, 2026

    There are days
    I convince myself
    I won’t wait anymore.

    I won’t check my phone.

    I won’t wonder
    if you’ve finally called.

    I won’t imagine
    what I’d say
    if your name suddenly appeared.

    Then my phone lights up.

    For a second,
    my heart forgets
    how disappointed it has become.

    It isn’t you.

    Again.

    I wonder
    if you know
    how many conversations
    I’ve had with you
    inside my head.

    How many times
    I’ve heard your voice
    in my memories
    because reality
    has gone quiet.

    You once became
    part of my routine.

    Now your absence is

    And somehow,

    I’m still here,

    waiting for a message

    that may never come.

    Read More
  • Poetry

    Your Silence

    July 16, 2026

    I never thought I’d miss something so simple.

    A “Good morning.”

    A random call.

    A “Kumain ka na ba?”

    Those little things I used to receive without asking.

    Now I find myself staring at my phone more than I should, hoping your name will appear. Hoping I’ll hear the ringtone I used to look forward to. Hoping today will be different.

    But the screen stays quiet.

    And somehow, that silence is louder than any words.

    I keep wondering what changed.

    Was I too easy to leave waiting?

    Did you get too busy?

    Did I slowly become someone you no longer thought about?

    I don’t know.

    And maybe that’s the hardest part.

    You never said goodbye.

    You just stopped showing up.

    I miss your voice.

    I miss hearing you laugh.

    I miss the way you used to make time for me, even for a few minutes.

    Now, I don’t even know if you’re okay.

    I don’t know if you think about me.

    I don’t know if you miss me too.

    It’s strange how someone can become part of your everyday life, then suddenly become the reason your days feel incomplete.

    I’m not asking for hours of your time.

    I’m not asking for endless conversations.

    I just miss knowing that I mattered enough for a message.

    Enough for a call.

    Enough for a simple, “I’m here.”

    Maybe you don’t realize it.

    But your silence has been talking to me every single day.

    And every day, I keep hoping it will finally end.

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  • Personal

    How the Phone Call Ruined My Peace

    July 7, 2026

    I was not expecting any of this.

    It all started with a random Discord message. Funny enough, he keeps on coming back. So when I saw his message around 6am, I was surprised. I was still awake, so we started chatting. Then he asked if he could call me that night. I didn’t think much of it. I gave him my number. We texted a little bit, then I slept.

    10PM came. Then suddenly it’s 1AM. That is probably the longest I have ever talked to a guy on the phone.

    And the weird part? It did not even feel long.

    We laughed. a lot. The kind of laugh where you suddenly forget you are talking to someone you have technically never met. Like the kind of conversation where you were smiling without even realizing. He has this personality that matches mine, but he is sensible too. He asked a lot about me. Not just the usual questions about my life. It felt nice that someone wanted to know me.

    Also, his voice. I don’t know why it is so nice to hear. It is calm, cute, and comforting. I caught myself smiling just because of his voice.

    The following day, he texted good morning. We talked again. He called me again at night.

    Then the following day, he texted good morning and called me during his lunch break like he promised, and we chatted until around 2pm.

    After that… Silence.

    Around 9PM he apologized because work was really busy. Thirty minutes later, he texted that he had just gotten home. I simply replied that I had eaten dinner.

    And that was it. No more messages.

    Today, I caught myself waiting. waiting for my phone to light up. Waiting for him. I even sent him a playful good morning message teasing him that he probably is still not done eating.

    No reply. Maybe he is really busy. Maybe he is just… him.

    Because even before all of this, he was already the type to disappear and suddenly come back like nothing happened.

    What really gets me, though, is looking back at our discord conversation before the call. I laughed it off. It caught me off guard. Reading my responses made me laugh and cringe at the same time. I was just surprised. My brain stopped functioning for a while. I did not know what to say.

    I think what is happening now is that I am realizing something. I like talking to him too. A lot. His voice that somehow became comforting after only a few calls.

    It is funny how someone can go from being another alliance mate in a game to becoming the person whose notification you are secretly hoping to see.

    I don’t know where this is going. Maybe nowhere.

    Maybe somewhere. But I do know this. For the first time in a long time, I found myself talking to someone for hours without getting bored. I found myself smiling at my phone. And for the first time in a long time, I am actually looking forward to hearing someone’s voice again.

    I am glad those conversations happened.

    So for now… I will wait. Not because I have to. But I genuinely hope this is not the end of the story.

    Maybe tomorrow my phone will light up.

    Read More
  • Health/Wellness,  Travels

    Another Climb, Another Memory

    May 9, 2026

    The photos from our first hike at Rolling Hills somehow made their way around the family. Before I knew it, some of my cousins, nieces, and nephews wanted to experience it too. And just like that, another climb was planned.

    There was only one problem. A forest fire had happened not long before our hike. The surroundings were still fresh from it, and there were even areas where you could still see smoke rising from the ground. I honestly thought the hike would be canceled. There weren’t any updates in our group chat, so I assumed it wasn’t pushing through anymore.

    Then suddenly… It was on.

    I rushed to change into my hiking clothes. No time for a proper shower this time (don’t worry, I showered before going to bed the night before). Everyone was already waiting, and I didn’t want to make them wait any longer. Thank you, guys, for being patient with me.

    This hike was different from the last one. We didn’t really pack food. I only brought a few pieces of candy because I knew I’d need something sweet along the way. I wasn’t feeling as energetic as I hoped, but somehow my legs kept moving.

    The climb felt much quicker this time, probably because there were more of us. We were around twelve in total—cousins, nieces, and nephews—and I honestly loved that. Hiking is fun, but sharing it with family makes it even better.

    Even though parts of the mountain had been burned by the fire, the beauty of the place was still there. Nature has an incredible way of healing itself. Standing there reminded me once again how amazing God’s creation is. It’s hard to believe that after everything the mountain had gone through, it could still leave us in awe.

    Of course, we spent a few minutes at the top taking lots and lots of photos before heading back home.

    Going down was… a different story.

    Instead of taking the same trail, we used another route. Normally, I enjoy exploring different paths because every trail feels like a new adventure.

    This one? Not so much.

    It was unbelievably steep and slippery. There were moments when I could clearly see where I’d end up if I lost my footing, and that alone made my heart race. I found myself sitting down just to safely slide through some parts because it honestly felt easier than trying to stay on my feet.

    There were moments when I truly wondered if I’d ever make it to the bottom. I was so nervous that I felt like my legs would give up before I did. But thankfully, I reached the end safely—not even a scratch.

    Although next time… I’m definitely wearing leggings instead of shorts. After taking a shower at home, my legs were stinging from all the grass and tiny scratches I didn’t even notice during the hike.

    The funny thing is, I didn’t really feel tired while climbing. It only hit me once we were already at the bottom. Suddenly my legs and thighs were aching so much that all I wanted to do was sit down and not move for a while.

    It was the kind of exhaustion that reminds you that your body worked hard today.

    Still, I’m incredibly thankful. Thankful that I made it through another climb safely. Thankful for the beautiful views. Thankful for another adventure with family.

    And most of all, thankful to my dear cousins, nieces, and nephews for waiting for me every single time I fell behind. I’m always the slow walker in the group, but not once did they make me feel like I was slowing everyone down.

    Sometimes the slowest person just gets a little more time to appreciate the view.

    Until the next climb.

    Read More
  • Health/Wellness,  Travels

    A Day I Almost Said No to

    May 4, 2026
    Ever since I got back home, I barely go out anymore. If I do leave the house, it’s usually just to run an errand or have a quick catch-up with a friend. Then it’s straight back home again. Most days, I’m perfectly content staying in my room. It’s funny because I wasn’t always like this. I used to be the type who was always out. I’d find reasons to leave the house, go somewhere, explore, or simply be around people. Now? I’d rather stay indoors. I guess this is what my introvert side looks like. Although I still think I can be both—someone who enjoys being around people and someone who loves staying home. It just so happens that, right now, staying home wins almost every time. That’s why I surprised myself when my uncle invited me to his son Rolly’s christening celebration. My first instinct, as always, was to say no. I’ve become really good at declining invitations. But for some reason… I went anyway. And I’m so glad I did. Because that day, I saw Ate Laarni. The last time I remember seeing her, I was probably still in high school. After that, life happened, and years quietly passed by without us crossing paths again. Seeing her again made me so happy. We talked, laughed, and caught up as if no time had passed at all. I actually ended up staying much longer than I originally planned because of her. I honestly just wanted to keep talking. I missed her that much. I had no plans of staying until evening. But one conversation led to another, then somehow there were drinks involved, and before I knew it, it was already late at night. Then someone casually suggested, “Let’s hike Rolling Hills Monday morning.” And somehow… We all agreed. So on a Monday morning, the five of us—Ate Laarni, her daughter, her son, our niece MJ, and I—headed out for the hike. There were only five of us, but it turned out to be one of those simple days that become unforgettable. It was actually my first time hiking Rolling Hills here in our town. And wow… The view from the top was worth every step. You could see almost the entire town. The bridge stretched across the view, the cell tower stood proudly in the distance, and everything looked so small from up there. Our house wasn’t even visible anymore. It’s funny how climbing a hill can change your perspective—literally. I wasn’t even sure I’d make it. I was out of breath almost the entire way up. To be fair, I hadn’t slept well the night before. I also haven’t been exercising lately, so my body definitely reminded me of that. Good thing I packed a few tusok-tusok snacks for the hike. Maybe I couldn’t sleep because I was excited. Or maybe… I just really couldn’t sleep. Who knows? Even while catching my breath every few minutes, I kept thinking it was worth it. Sometimes the best memories come from saying yes to plans you almost turned down. I took lots of photos, of course. I always do. But I don’t think pictures could ever fully capture what it felt like standing up there. Some places are simply more beautiful in person. We took the same trail back down, although I found out later there’s actually another route that’s much shorter. Maybe next time. Because yes… I think there’ll be a next time. And hopefully, I’ll be in better shape by then.
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  • Random

    A Picnic that Felt Like Childhood Again

    April 26, 2026

    We are really making the most of the time while our cousin, Ate Laarni, is here in the province. Since everyone is together, of course a picnic by the river had to happen.

    I honestly thought everything was already prepared before we left. I imagined we’d just light the grill, cook the food, and enjoy eating by the river.

    Apparently… I was very wrong.

    Some of us kept going back and forth to the house because we kept forgetting things. One minute someone needed cooking utensils. The next trip was for another ingredient. Then someone realized we forgot something else again. I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or just shake my head.

    It was such a funny sight.

    We are all grown-ups now—most of us are already in our 40s—but for a moment, it felt like we were little kids again.

    The whole day reminded me so much of the picnics we used to have with my dad. We’d gather by the river, grill food, cook rice over the fire, and eat together surrounded by nature. Those memories came rushing back as we prepared everything.

    It did not feel like decades had passed.

    Now, the difference is that many of my cousins have children of their own running around while we prepare the food.

    As for me… Well, I am still the single one.

    One of the highlights of the day was the fresh tilapia. The fish they caught were cleaned right there by the river—gills and insides removed, washed carefully, and then cooked two ways. Some became a warm fish soup, while the others were grilled over charcoal. We even cooked rice there, just like the old days.

    To make it even more special, Dad’s youngest sibling joined us too. Having everyone there made the picnic feel complete.

    Looking back, I realized I barely took any photos of my cousins or my nieces and nephews. Normally, I’d be walking around with my phone, documenting everything.

    This time, I simply forgot. And honestly, I’m glad I did.

    Instead of looking through a screen, I was fully present. I enjoyed the conversations, the laughter, the delicious food, and the peaceful sound of the river. Sometimes the best memories aren’t the ones we capture in photos—they’re the ones we simply live.

    I do not join family outings very often, so this was a nice change. It reminded me how important it is to say yes once in a while because these moments don’t happen every day. Some memories are not created by expensive plans.

    Sometimes, all it takes is a river, freshly cooked food, people you love, and a day that quietly takes you back to your childhood.

    I’m really grateful I got to be part of this one.

    Read More
  • Future Letter

    To the Man Still Finding His Way to Me

    February 14, 2026

    Dear You,

    Maybe we’ve already crossed paths without realizing it. Maybe you’re living a life completely separate from mine, unaware that somewhere, someone is quietly hoping you’ll exist exactly as you are.

    Or maybe you’re still becoming the man I’ll eventually meet. I wonder what your days look like.

    I wonder if you’ve had your heart broken too. If you’ve questioned your worth. If you’ve stayed awake at 2 a.m. wondering why some people leave without saying goodbye.

    I hope life has been kind to you. But if it hasn’t, I hope it made you gentle instead of bitter.

    Before you came into my life, there were days I questioned if love was still meant for me.

    There were moments when I thought maybe I was simply someone people visited but never stayed for.

    I waited for messages that never came. I replayed conversations in my head. I wondered if I had said too much… or not enough.

    Slowly, I learned that waiting for someone else’s attention is a lonely way to live.

    So while I waited for you—even without knowing I was waiting—I started learning how to choose myself.

    I built little dreams. I found comfort in writing. I learned to enjoy my own company again. I laughed at things that once made me cry. And piece by piece, I became someone I was proud of.

    I hope when we meet, neither of us is looking for someone to complete us. I hope we’re simply two whole people choosing each other every single day.

    When life gets busy, I hope we never stop checking in. Not because we have to. But because we’ll always want to know how the other person is doing. I hope we become the kind of couple who can sit together in complete silence without it feeling empty.

    The kind who laugh over the smallest things. The kind who still hold hands years later. The kind who choose kindness during arguments. The kind who remember that it’s us against the problem—not us against each other.

    Please don’t disappear when life becomes difficult. Tell me you’re overwhelmed. Tell me you need time. Tell me you’re tired. Just don’t leave me guessing. I promise I’ll do the same for you. I don’t need perfection. I don’t need expensive dates. I don’t need grand romantic gestures every day. I just want consistency.

    A “Drive safely.” A “Have you eaten?” A random hug in the kitchen. A smile from across the room.

    Someone who stays. Someone who means what he says. Someone whose actions make me feel safe.

    If you’re reading this someday beside me, I hope you know how grateful I am that our stories eventually found each other.

    Thank you for arriving when the timing was finally right. Thank you for not making me chase love. Thank you for reminding me that healthy love doesn’t feel confusing.

    It feels peaceful.

    And if today we haven’t met yet… I’ll keep living. I’ll keep growing. I’ll keep becoming the woman you’ll be proud to love.

    Take your time.

    I’ll be here, building a beautiful life—not because I’m waiting for you, but because when you finally arrive, I want to welcome you into a life that’s already full of hope.

    Until then, I’ll save a little space beside me.

    Love, The Woman Who Can’t Wait to Meet You

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