Dear Jhi,
Uyyy, online.
Those were the first words that came to my mind when I saw your name appear. After days of wondering, waiting, and asking myself what happened, there you were.
I don’t know why my heart reacted that way. A simple online status suddenly felt like a sign that maybe I would finally hear from you.
I sent you a message in the game, not knowing what to expect.
And then you replied.
“sorry po.. alam kong galit ka sa akin hindi ako nagparamdam.. sorry im broken kasi my tita has passed away po.”
For a moment, I didn’t know what to feel.
I wasn’t angry, Jhi. I was hurt. I was worried.
I was wondering if you were okay, if something happened, and if I had done something wrong. I didn’t want to be mad at you because deep inside, I knew there might be something you were going through.
Then you told me. You said you were broken because your tita passed away.
And suddenly, the things I was feeling became smaller because I realized you were carrying something heavy too.
I told you I wasn’t angry. Nagtatampo lang ako. I told you I was sad about what happened to your tita and that I was sending my condolences to you and your family.
Because that was the truth. I missed you. I was hurt by the silence. But more than anything, I wanted to know that you were okay.
Then you told me you were in Mindanao and that by Monday, you would be back in Manila.
You said you didn’t know what to say, but you would make it up to me by Monday.
“but babawi ako sayo by monday po.”
I don’t think you realized how much those words meant to me.
After days of silence, those words gave me something I had been missing—a little bit of hope.
I didn’t need a perfect explanation. I just needed to know you were still there.
I replied, “Okay po. Take care.”
Maybe I had so many more things I wanted to say. Maybe there were so many questions in my mind. But at that moment, I just wanted you to be okay.
And even in the middle of my own sadness, I wanted to understand what you were going through.
I hope your heart finds peace, Jhi.
I hope you know that someone was quietly hoping you were okay.
— Nikka