Dear Jhi,
August 23 was my birthday.
And I was waiting for your greeting.
I kept hoping that somewhere in the day, you would remember and send me a simple Happy Birthday.
But the day kept passing.
And there was nothing.
So eventually, I sent my own message.
“Happy birthday to me.” 🥳
I think that was my quiet way of admitting that I had been waiting for you.
Then you replied.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🥳🥳🥳”
And right after that, you explained why you hadn’t been there for my special day.
“Pasensya, I’m not in your special day po. Need ako ng mother ko po.”
And suddenly, I understood again.
You weren’t somewhere having fun and simply forgetting about me.
You were with your mom.
You were needed there.
I told you I was just at home and hadn’t gone anywhere because I didn’t feel like leaving the house.
Then I asked your mom.
You told me she was okay for now, but she had been experiencing pain in her back and hip.
And when you explained that you were staying because you needed to be there for her, I understood why my birthday had to come second.
Still, Jhi, I won’t lie.
A small part of me was hurt.
Because I wanted to hear those words from you without having to send “Happy birthday to me” first.
I wanted to wake up and see your greeting waiting for me.
I wanted to feel remembered.
But when you finally replied and told me what was happening, the hurt became much smaller than the worry I felt for you and your mom.
So on my birthday, I didn’t really need a surprise anymore.
I just needed to know that you were okay.
And now I understand why you couldn’t be there the way I had hoped.
You were where you needed to be.
With your mother.
And maybe that’s something I need to remember whenever I feel hurt by your silence.
Sometimes, it isn’t because I don’t matter.
Sometimes, someone you love simply needs you more at that moment.
Still, I have to admit.
I smiled when your greeting finally came.
Even if I had to greet myself first. 😂
Happy Birthday to me, indeed.
Love,
Nikka