Hey Blog,

Here I am again.

Just wanted to write and let a few things out. Lately, I have been feeling a mix of everything—busy on the outside, but lowkey messy on the inside. You know that feeling when life keeps moving but your emotions are kind of stuck? That is where I am at.

I have been keeping myself occupied—doing things I need to do, trying to stay productive. On paper, everything looks okay. But inside? There’s this weird heaviness I cannot shake off.

Jealousy.

Yeah, I said it.

I do not usually get jealous—not in a loud, dramatic way. But I have been feeling it quietly, deeply. That kind of jealousy that does not even show, but eats at you a little. And it is not even about wanting to have what others have… it is more like wishing I did not care so much.

I see things. I notice the closeness. The way someone lights up when they talk to other people—and suddenly, I feel like I’m just… there. Not invisible, but not chosen either.

I hate feeling like this. Because I know it makes me seem weak or insecure, but that is not it. I just care. Maybe more than I should. And when I care, I get affected. Simple as that.

So yeah. That is what I have been up to— trying to look fine while quietly dealing with feelings I did not really ask for.

I am not mad. I am not even sad all the time. I just feel… a little off. A little left out. A little too much sometimes, and not enough other times.

But maybe that is okay. Maybe this is just part of figuring life and emotions out.

Thanks for being here again, Blog.

You are my quiet space when I cannot really say things out loud.

— Me

Dear Blog,

Sorry, but once again, you’ve become the catcher of all my feelings.

I don’t really have someone to vent all my frustrations in life to right now, so here you are—my safe space for now.

I am honestly doing fine being single. I am happy, really.

I have learned to enjoy my own company, chase what I want, and live life on my terms.

But lately… I do not know.

Out of nowhere, there is this quiet kind of sadness that creeps in.

That longing for something more.

That small voice deep down that still hopes to have something I can call home someday—a family of my own.

I am proud of where I am. I have done things for myself, made decisions just for me.

But it still feels different knowing someone is there—someone who reminds you you are not alone in this life.

Not just anyone, but someone who chooses to stay, especially on the days you do not even ask them to.

So yeah, I am feeling all sorts of things today.

Too many thoughts, emotions I cannot fully name.

And this is not even like me—I am not usually this emotional.

But here I am. Writing again. Rambling again.

And you— yes, you, in case you ever come across this—

I hope you are someone who understands what this kind of silence means.

I hope you are someone who will stay, not just when it is light and easy, but even when my heart feels like this—unfiltered, unsure, but honest.

That is all for now.

’Til next time, blog.

—Me